Most people assume that relationship problems are about communication. Learn to use “I” statements, practice active listening, and things should improve. And while communication skills certainly matter, therapists who work with relationship issues often find that the real trouble lives somewhere much deeper. The patterns that keep showing up in someone’s relationships, the fights that circle back to the same sore spots, the walls that go up at the first sign of vulnerability, these patterns usually have roots that stretch back years or even decades.… Read more